If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
And then my night got REAL pukey
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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