This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
