so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
