waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
