Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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