so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize