She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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