I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
