Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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