I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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