Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize