the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
