You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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