Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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