Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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