He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
