Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Fuck appropriateness.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
