Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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