i'm signing you up for texting rehab
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
