My entire life is one complicated drinking game
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
