Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
