To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
