he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
