And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
P.S. I can't hear my feet
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize
