brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
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