I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
