if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Congratulations! We have a period
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
