Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
God gave him joint rollers for hands
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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