I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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