Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
