i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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