he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
