so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize