Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
He better not be in your backpack
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
