Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
