My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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