It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
