Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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