what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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