flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
