Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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