Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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