He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
