I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Randomize
