how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
