R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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