Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
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