I want to have your abortion
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize