Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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