shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Come share oat with me in your robe
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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