her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
