How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
