Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize