dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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