He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
