Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Randomize
