so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Randomize
