just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
We need to get me chipped asap
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
