i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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