So gin and wine won't be happening again
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Green mimosas i think yes
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I feel like a drive thru vagina
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
