you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Are we still banned from the library?
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
