just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
