By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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