Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
You left your phone here
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