who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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